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Anyone But You (Hqn Romance), by Jennifer Crusie
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Part basset, part beagle, all Cupid…
For Nina Askew, turning forty means freedom—from the ex-husband, freedom from their stuffy suburban home, freedom to focus on what she wants for a change. And what she wants is something her ex always vetoed—a puppy. A bouncy, adorable puppy.
Instead she gets…Fred.
Overweight, middle-aged, a bit smelly and obviously depressed, Fred is light-years from perky. But he does manage to put Nina in the path of Alex Moore, her gorgeous, younger-by-a-decade neighbor.
Alex seems perfect—he's a sexy, seemingly sane, surprisingly single E.R. doctor—but the age gap convinces Nina that anyone but Alex would be better relationship material. But with every silver-haired stiff she dates, the more she suspects it's the young, dog-loving doc she wants to sit and stay!
- Sales Rank: #27147 in eBooks
- Published on: 2012-10-15
- Released on: 2012-10-15
- Format: Kindle eBook
Review
". . . one of the funniest, sexiest romances of the year." -- Library Journal on Anyone But You
"A ferociously funny, sexy read." -- Redbook on Tell Me Lies
"A sure bet . . . Jennifer Crusie's rollicking romance hits the jackpot." -- BookPage on Bet Me
"Crusie seems incapable of writing a boring page, or one that's not aglow . . ." -- Kirkus Reviews on What the Lady Wants
"Few popular writers handle light romantic comedy as deftly as Jennifer Crusie." -- Boston Globe on Bet Me
"Wonderful, fresh, funny, tender, outrageous . . . Crusie is one of a kind." -- Booklist on What the Lady Wants
About the Author
Jennifer Crusie has written over a dozen novels, and has appeared on many bestseller lists, including those of Publishers Weekly, USA Today and the New York Times.
Excerpt. © Reprinted by permission. All rights reserved.
The last thing Nina Askew needed was Fred.
"I want a puppy," she said to the brown-uniformed woman behind the scarred metal counter at Riverbend Animal Control. "Something perky."
"Perky." The woman sighed. "Sure. We got perky." She jerked her head toward the gray metal door at the end of the counter. "Through there, one step down."
"Right." Nina shoved her short dark curls behind her ears, grabbed her purse and walked through the door, determined to pick herself out the perkiest birthday present on four paws. So what if yesterday had been her fortieth birthday? Forty was a good age for a woman. It meant freedom. Especially freedom from her overambitious ex-husband and their overpriced suburban castle which had finally sold after a year of open-house hell. There was something good: she was out of that damn house.
And now she was forty. Well, she was delighted to be forty. After all, that was the reason she was getting a dog of her own.
The attendant joined her and said, "This way," and Nina followed her toward yet another heavy metal door. She was going to get a puppy. She'd always wanted a dog, but Guy hadn't understood. "Dogs shed," he'd said when she'd suggested they get one as a wedding present to each other. She should have known that was A Sign. But no, she'd married him anyway and moved into that designer mausoleum of a house. And then she'd spent fifteen years following her husband's career around, without a dog, in a house she'd grown to hate. Sixteen years in the house, if she counted this last year in divorced-woman limbo, waiting for it to sell. But now she had freedom and an apartment of her own and a great, if precarious, job. The only thing she needed was a warm, cheerful body to come home to.
The attendant opened the door, and the faint barking Nina had heard before became frantic and shrill. Nina stepped into the concrete cell block and stopped, blown out of her self-absorption by the row of gray metal cages where dogs barked to get her attention. She let her breath out, horrified. "Oh, God, this is awful."
"Spay your pets."The attendant stopped in front of the next to last cage. "Here you go." She jerked her head again. "Perky."
Nina went to join the woman and peered into the cage. The pups were darling--some sort of tiny, bright-eyed, spotted mixed breed--climbing over one another and tumbling and whining and barking. Perky as hell. Now all she had to do was choose one...
She moved closer and glanced in the last cage almost by accident. Then she froze.
There was only one dog in the cage, and it was midsize and depressed, too big for her apartment and too melancholy for her state of mind. Nina tried to turn back to the puppies, but somehow, she couldn't. The dog had huge bags under his dark eyes, and hunched shoulders, and a white coat blotched with what looked like giant liver spots. He sat on the damp concrete like a bulked-up vulture and stared at her, not barking, not moving. He looked like her great-uncle Fred had before he'd died when she was six. She'd liked her uncle Fred, and then one day his heart had gone, as her mother had put it, and that had been it.
"Hello," she said, and the dog lifted his head a little, so she stooped down and reached through the cage doors to scratch him behind the ears. He looked at her and then closed his eyes in appreciation for the scratch.
"What's wrong with him?" Nina asked the attendant.
"Nothing," the attendant said. "He's part basset, part beagle." She checked the card on his cage.
"Or he might be psychic. This is his last day."
Nina's eyes opened wide. "You mean..."
"Yep." The attendant sliced her hand across her throat.
Nina looked back at the dog. The dog looked back at Nina, death in his eyes.
Oh, God.
She stood and shoved her hair behind her ears, trying to look efficient and practical in an effort to be efficient and practical. She did not need this dog. She needed a happy, perky puppy, and on his best day, this dog would look like a professional mourner. And he wasn't even a puppy.
Any dog but this one.
She looked down at the dog one last time, and her hair fell forward, a curly black frame for his depression. He bowed his head a little as if it had grown too heavy for him, and his ears sagged with the bow.
She could not take this dog. He was too depressed. He was too big. He was too old. She took a step back, and he sighed and lay down, not expecting anything at all, resigned to the cold hard floor and no one to love him and the certainty of death in the morning.
Nina turned to the attendant, and said, "I'll take him."
The attendant raised an eyebrow. "That's your idea of perky?"
Nina gestured to the puppies. "They'll all be adopted, right?"
"Probably."
Nina took one long last glance at the tumbling, chubby puppies. Prozac with four legs and a tail. Then she looked at the other dog, depressed, alone, too old to be cute anymore if he ever had been. "I have a lot in common with this dog," she told the attendant. "And besides, I'd never sleep again knowing I could have saved him and didn't."
The attendant shook her head. "You can't save them all."
"Well, I can save this one." Nina crouched to the dog's level. "It's okay, Fred. I just rescued your butt."
The dog rolled his eyes up to stare at her. "No, don't thank me. Glad to do it for you." Nina stood up and followed the attendant down the hall. At the end, she turned, and Fred moved forward, pressing his nose through the bars. "Hey, it's okay," Nina called to him. "I'm coming right back as soon as I get you sprung from this joint."
Fred moaned and stumbled back into the depths of the cage.
"Oh, yeah, you're going to cheer me up," Nina said and went to sign the papers and pay the fee.
He didn't get much happier when the attendant opened the cage and he waddled out into Nina's arms, fragrant beyond belief. "You stink, Fred," she told him, and then she picked him up and held him to her, telling herself that her silk suit was drycleanable, and that at least it was brown and so was a lot of Fred so the dog hair wouldn't show. He looked up at her and she added, "And you weigh a ton." He was like dead weight in her arms, round and bulky, and most of his weight seemed to be centered in his rear end, which gave him a definite droop as she balanced his hip on hers. Still, as much as he reeked, it felt good to have her arms wrapped around him. "I saved you, Fred," she whispered into his ear, and he twitched as her breath tickled him, patient but not by any means enthused about the new turn of events.
He perked up a little when she carried him out into the May sunlight, but he seemed annoyed when she tried to balance all of his weight on one hip while she maneuvered open the door to her white Civic.
"I was planning...on getting...a puppy," she told him, breathing hard as she used her other hip to push the car door farther open. "I wasn't plan-ning...on getting a...part basset...part beagle... part lead-ass." She managed to heave him into the seat and close the door, and then she leaned against the car to get her breath back. Fred rocked back and forth as he situated himself on the blue upholstery, and then he turned and smeared his nose on the window. "Good." Nina sighed. "Make yourself at home."
She got in the Civic and stuck the key in the ignition. Fred put his paws on the window ledge and smeared his nose higher. Nina thought longingly of the puppies. "You're making me ill." She leaned across him and began to roll down the window halfway. "Don't jump out. Things just got better for you."
Fred turned at the sound of her voice, and as she stretched over him still cranking the window, he looked deep into her eyes. Nina stopped rolling and stared back into the warm brown depths. He really was a sweet dog. Of course he wasn't being peppy. In his situation, she'd be cautious, too. He didn't know anything about her. She didn't know anything about where he'd been. Maybe his previous people had been mean to him. It didn't matter. What mattered was that he needed love. Everybody needed love. Even she needed love. And now she had Fred.
Fred.
Most helpful customer reviews
194 of 201 people found the following review helpful.
Add This One To Your Collection
By mayfayre
After reading Ms. Crusie's latest books, I've made it my business to search out her earlier books, and I'm glad that I've done so. I've found some gems, of which this is one. This time the twist on the romantic theme is that it involves a 40 year old woman and a 30 year old man.
Nina used to be the perfect corporate executive's wife, but after 15 years she realized that she wasn't happy, got divorced and began to finally live her own life. Alex is her downstairs neighbor, an emergency room doctor, and a serial dater. However, once he meets her, his life plans change and he sets out trying to find a way to convince her that she belongs in his life. Add to this mix Alex' brother Max (a gynecologist), Nina's friend Charity (who's about to write a book on her 12-man string of failed romances), and Fred (a part manic-depressive stray dog who's got a severe Oreo jones) and there are more than enough opportunities for the humorous scenes that Ms. Crusie does so well.
Nina and Alex are obviously a couple who are meant for each other, but before true love can triumph each must overcome their own personal obstacles - Nina's problem with dating someone so much younger, and Alex' family pressures and mistaken goals. But the story doesn't bog down with angst, and everything is leavened with humor. And, I was especially glad to see Nina's 40 year old self taking center stage, rather than being relegated to being a secondary character. It's so refreshing to read a romance that doesn't contain a dewy twenty-something . This is a fun book, and it's worth searching out and buying.
35 of 37 people found the following review helpful.
Wonderfully witty
By A Customer
Have you ever been given dirty looks by elderly folks because you were laughing hysterically while reading a book at the county fair? No? Then you haven't read "Anyone But You"...
Beyond funny, this wonderfully witty novel by the supreme Jennifer Crusie is one of her best. The unconventional love story of Nina and Alex is accented by a excellent cast of supporting characters. The most notable of these is the incorrigible Fred, who lives up to the standard set by his predecessor, Bob, the dog from one of Crusie's previous works, "What The Lady Wants".
Perhaps a bit more 'adult' than her other novels, I would heartily recommend it to anyone that enjoys their romance stories with a large dose of side-splitting laughter. One warning: Do not eat potato chips while reading this book! I nearly choked to death halfway though Chapter 2...
20 of 21 people found the following review helpful.
I'm now a member of the Jennifer Crusie Fan Club!
By A Customer
I laughed so hard while reading this book, I had people edging away from me on the bus. Nina, newly 40 and freshly divorced, adopts a basset hound, the very unperky Fred. Then she meets her sexy, younger neighbor and sparks fly. This is probably one of the most witty, enjoyable romances I've ever read. Highly recommended!
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