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THE WORLD'S MOST HANDSOME MAN, by Edwin Heaven
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His mama got knocked up one hot Hollywood night by Cary Grant.
Or maybe it was John Wayne.
She isn't quite sure as she was quite snockered at the time.
It was all a big fat blur from which came a big fat bastard.
So, not sure who the daddy is, she names her fourteen-pound-four-ounce bubbling, blubbery baby after both: Wayne Grant.
One would think that a lad with such pedigree would grow up to be a handsome hunk and get into pictures. But his is not a face like Cary Grant's. Nor is his body even closely resembling John Wayne's.
But try telling this homely schnook, this delusional doofus, this portly putz, as he doggedly auditions for handsome leading-man roles and becomes the laughing stock of Tinseltown.
Enter Wayne's world and discover the most unusual lap dancers, rhyming ruffians, looney goons, conniving cons, flimflam scams, murder, mayhem, misfits, moguls, megastars, mishuginahs—and the world's most handsome man!
You'll also discover Hollywood's seedy underbelly—and many a belly laugh.
* * * * * * * * *
Praise for THE WORLD'S MOST HANDSOME MAN:
“If Elmore Leonard wrote a 30's screwball comedy set in the lowlife crime world of 90’s L.A. it might have come out like THE WORLD'S MOST HANDSOME MAN. Yes, it’s that weird. You should take this ride.” — Christopher Moore,
NY Times Bestselling Author of LAMB and FOOL
“Madcap and wicked: a very funny novel." —T. C. Boyle, Pen/Faulkner Award-winning Author of WORLD’S END, DROP CITY and THE ROAD TO WELLVILLE
“Bravo!! What a whacky, crazy, funny story. I finished it laughing.” —Elizabeth McKenzie, author of STOP THAT GIRL
“Trouble with most novelists is their dialogue. Not this time. Edwin
Heaven gets it right.” —Lawrence Ferlinghetti, author of A CONEY ISLAND OF THE MIND
“A sweet, shameless wisecracking wonder of a book ... a little bit West, a
little bit Toole, a little bit Robbins—the rest is pure Heaven!” —John Hawkes, Oscar-nominated film star, Winter's Bone; Me and You and Everyone We Know; Deadwood; American Gangster,
“Edwin Heaven writes like hell!” —San Francisco Chronicle
“Look out world, Edwin Heaven is the next big thing in modern-day
literature. He’s every superlative I can think of: funny, intelligent,
twisted, perverted. The World’s Most Handsome Man is from the mind
of a demented genius.”—Marshal Terrill, author of STEVE MCQUEEN: PORTRAIT OF AN AMERICAN REBEL
“Wayne Grant is destined to become one of the great literary heroes of all
time. Kind of like Mr. Darcy, but not as smoldering, Rhett Butler, but not
as sexy, Captain Von Trapp but with a much bigger ass. Mr. Grant bumbled
and blundered his way into the frigid and forgotten chambers of my bitter
heart. I laughed, I cried–this book became a part of me.” —Laurel May, Editor, 944 Magazine
- Sales Rank: #2092805 in eBooks
- Published on: 2012-09-07
- Released on: 2012-09-07
- Format: Kindle eBook
Most helpful customer reviews
1 of 1 people found the following review helpful.
The World's Most Handsome Man by Edwin Heaven
By Sue Logg
Edwin Heaven is an artist...one uniquely adept at word-play. And play he does: Each paragraph a veritable carnival of delicious, funny, and exciting rides. (I'd have loved to have been there to see him play with his alphabet blocks as a child...what a clever little boy he must have been.)
"The World's Most Handsome Man" is one of the funniest, (and blushingly bawdy,) novels I have ever read. I'd have loved to have spent just one loony-lovey day with his array of characters in real life. Funny, sexy, delectably delicious, irreverent, and intelligently written, "The World's Most Handsome Man" is a great read. I would be remiss if I didn't offer a word of caution: If you start this book...plan to spend some time, because you wont be able to put it down. Enjoy!
1 of 1 people found the following review helpful.
LOVED this book!!!
By B. Kelly
I couldn't put "The World's Most Handsome Man" down! And I didn't want too either!
I'm at a lost for words. There are a few things in life more enjoyable than finding an amazing new book/author, and Edwin Heaven's book was one of the most enjoyable reads I've had in a long time! I really look forward to reading more of his books, and I highly suggest you read this one asap! You won't regret it! (Unless you hate characters with depth and unique voices, original plot twists and story lines, and/or laughing out loud.)
It would also make a great gift for a friend or family member!
1 of 1 people found the following review helpful.
My very favorite read of 2012!
By Kalen Wright
The characters live and breathe effortlessly and the plot is as delicious as it is satisfying... it's one of those books where you can automagically see everything that's happening projected on the movie screen in your mind! The humor is both subtle and laugh-out-loud hilarious; it's also wickedly smart! One of Mr. Heaven's talents as a writer, in my opinion, is that he's capable of being poignant and funny in the same sentence. It was the first book I'd read in years that was such a great romp that it made me sad when I realized I had only a few chapters remaining. Sequel, please?
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